3.26.2008

I will be reading poetry and my six word memoir at Hot Geek Love night at the Cannery in Dayton, Ohio Friday, April 4th (see below), as well as at Visible Voice bookstore Saturday, April 19th at 8 pm in Cleveland, Ohio. This is to promote both my chapbooks of February poetry and my six word memoir which appears in Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure and The Best American Nonrequired Reading 2007. For the record, I am one of the "obscure" writers, but I will nonetheless be signing books at both events. The main thrust of these performances is actually to promote my dear friend Patty Kambitsch's memoir Looks Like Howard, which you should all, of course, immediately purchase and devour and share with your friends.



Those blog readers interested in obtaining a copy of my chapbooks, February and The Agony of Weather should email me at annakissmm at gmail dot com.

3.06.2008

i think and think on things i do, the proper way to live, work, breathe, and so on. i have no clue as to how to parent. i get in my head this ideal, based on a vision mainly, think and think on it, pound my head with thinking, then have a day of explosion where i can no longer understand my assumptions. what is the proper way of doing things? what is the right path? i can outline some basic ideas - to honor the emotions and autonomy of my children, to negotiate the needs of everyone in my home, to cooperate. for some reason though, i hold the vision of the martyr as what i am striving for. then i must legitimately ask myself if i long to be a martyr, if i truly believe that ignoring my own needs in order to serve the needs of my children is the best way. i must negotiate between what is a need of mine and what is merely a desire. i do not assume that my children can negotiate this for themselves. i am the one who must sacrifice. but what is a need and what is merely an inconvenience? at times it becomes painfully obvious because certain situations begin to no longer work. still, as i make decisions and try gentle transitions, i cannot know if it is right. i cannot know if another way must be better.

it is the same as deciding who to vote for in this election. since the ideal situation is entirely off the table, i must simply decide. i must find reasons, invent reasons, rationalize and contort evidence to fit an urge. there is no simple solution and no ideal outcome. it makes me hate how hard it is to have to think. it is so much easier to ascribe to a belief system and do what it dictates. the problem with being this radical leftist is that my belief system is based on negotiation of the changing needs and desires of everyone.

and so too, is my family. and i must question every interaction, every influence, every inference of power and authority. and then i must question why i must question all that and constantly and perpetually reframe it all. but how to measure it? how to know? the question becomes, "what about what i am doing is making me more in touch with my humanity and the humanity of others?" is what i am doing keeping me in touch with my humanity and teaching my children of their humanness? if nothing else, we have that to fall back on. that we make mistakes.

3.03.2008

3.01.2008

failed

no matter the pressure applied,
nor the incentive entailed,
the wings do not open
the sail does not spread
and i am plunged
in free-fall,
sunk to my neck,
embedded deeply
in the cracked, barren earth
that having lacked,
perpetually after thirsts.