9.06.2001

my poverty is becoming my savior. suddenly my television has abandoned me; has lost its cable charm, its hbos one through six, its sundance channels and bravos. no more inside the actor's studio. no powerpuff girls or dexter's laboratory. no daily show. no sex and the city. not even friends or er. the television now sits quietly. the cat has been relocated from atop the cable box to sleeping atop the vcr. the giant digital clock from the cable box no longer winks at me as i'm grabbing bagels, late for work, warning me of the minutes. now i run errands after work. i don't watch the six o'clock friends and the seven-thirty frasier on fox. i don't have the learning channel's six-thirty trading spaces. now i go to the library and take the recycling to kroger. now i finish reading waterland and start finally reading fight club. my life has taken on order because my poverty demands it. everything must be planned to prevent unforseen expenses. i've started the first harry potter book. i'm balancing my checkbook. i'm going to bed at a reasonable hour. i'm ready for school to start. i'm spending quality time with my husband with videos borrowed from the library. i eat three reasonably healthy meals a day. we cook dinner every night. the cats are fed. suddenly my organizational tendencies are manifesting themselves where they are most expected to occur. my opportunities for creativity have suddenly increased tenfold. i must make use of them. i swear to try.

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